I am living in Budapest now. For two months already. Breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping. Coming to the office and doing something sometimes. Going to Karinthy high school also. Going out, meeting people, walking on the streets. Surfing internet, having couch surfers sometimes, having friends visiting sometimes. Once in a while, leaving the city for a day or few. Coming back. Talking, cooking, laughing, hand-crafting, watching, reading, making love, decorating, cleaning, biking, crying. Having all kinds of emotions. Or not.
And that is the point. One of those days, I realised there was nothing behind everything described above. But this nothing hurt.
And I continued doing things. But the flame doused, the shining faded out. And I didn't notice.
And the next step? I don't know. My hope lies in spring.
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